Do you see yourself as your kids’ chore supervisor?
If not, how DO you view your role in the family?
Today I’m going to lay out the case for treating yourself as a manager (and your chore-doing kids as direct subs).
Aka, how to manage your kids while parenting well.
Sound good? Let’s dive right in!
Define “good enough”
Have a list of self-expectations before you start. What are you looking for? What KIND of cleaning level gets an A?
Have a list (for sure journaled out; better yet, told to the kids) of what dirt where merits a fail. (‘Cause they won’t know till you tell them, and even them some of them will try to skate out!)
Plus, a dirt standard conveniently removes all “am I in a good mood” decision-making pressure from you – it’s the standard’s fault if you say “not good enough,” not the fact that you’re frustrated with your day!
Let a universal bathroom cleaning standard keep your response consistent – it makes for much better parenting (as well as a cleaner bathroom!).
Define your inspection style
Now, how do you want to approach each child? Do they like a silly inspector, a gentle “let me help you do this better,” or a no-frills, “this-and-this-and-this aren’t clean yet” pass/fail evaluation?
Tailor your approach to each kid, if need be. At the very least, decide which managing style your parenting is most comfortable with – and use it.
How do you want chore inspections, consequences, and redo’s to look like at your house?
Journal on that a little – you’ll come up with some solutions pretty fast. And they’ll match YOUR family’s values, not the chore chart professional’s.
You deserve a family that helps out with (and even takes over) the chores.
Keep checking up on the chores
Finally, remember to follow through.
Telling them to clean the bathrooms isn’t good enough.
Watching someone go down the hall with toilet cleaner isn’t enough.
Poking your head in that bathroom and catching them whisking the brush around isn’t enough.
You have to actually TEACH him what a clean toilet looks like.
EXPECT him to produce a clean toilet every time.
And follow up until it actually GETS clean.
I’m not arguing this isn’t a lot (on you). But it’s the only way to teach excellence, responsibility, and task completion. (Plus, think of how much fun it’ll be when you CAN trust his toilet-cleaning skills – barely any inspection required at all!)
This is what it takes to get your kids to do their chores. Fully, completely, and competently.
It’s not a cakewalk. It’s not a picnic. And you, the mom, bear the brunt of it.
The complaints.
The whines.
The “but I didn’t know this wasn’t good enough” excuses.
But I know you’re strong enough, determined enough, to keep on going.
Because your kids deserve to be confident in their cleaning (or cooking or vacuuming) skills.
And you deserve a family that helps out with (and even takes over) the chores.
So. What area are you going to start on today? Which kid is old enough to get the “this is how you clean a bathroom” lesson?
(Or “here’s how to scoop ingredients into the breadmaker” – it’s your call. Whatever would help you out most.)
Set a timer to talk to him or her later today about it. Your best chore days are just ahead, over that hill – and they’re going to be great.
See you then!
