Do you sometimes feel like an HSP’s version of a morning routine is way different than everyone else’s? Is that making you second guess whether you’re doing it “right”?
Today’s let’s go over the TRUE needs of a highly sensitive woman – mom – who knows she needs a morning routine (and an evening one), but doesn’t want to do it the way the rest of the noise-tolerant world does.
Because that’s no help when you’re dealing with sensory excitabilities.
Morning HSP routines
Let’s get straight to the goods. How much time do you need to ease into your day?
Not how much time you THINK you need; how much time it actually takes you.
- Are you showering?
- Getting dressed? (Or changing into workout clothes?)
- Drinking coffee, or 2 glasses of water, or both?
- Reading your Bible?
- Going for a morning walk by yourself?
What all are you doing, and how much time does it take for your brain to wake up sufficiently for it?
(Case in point: I can’t do my hair first thing when I get up in the morning. Or rather, I can, but I’ll look in the mirror an hour later and think, “I thought that was acceptable?!” I just wasn’t awake enough yet. So now I know to leave my hair messy till I’m fully awake if I want it to look good.)
If this is you, don’t scold yourself for taking an hour to fully turn on; just accept it as part of your day from here on. It’s a hard time boundary, just as much as your alarm is.
Now, on the other side, maybe you’re one of those “roll out of bed” people. (I am, too!)
Can you pretty much get up, rub the sleep out of your eyes, and head out to the living room to work or meditate or read your Bible?
Great! That’s amazing! Work on shaving seconds off your minimal morning routine, because the less time you spend getting out of bed, the more time you have to work on that laptop. (Or whatever your early morning activity of choice is.)
You’re pretty much guaranteed to be a morning person, so let’s make the most of your ability to work (i.e., think!) straight off.
Afternoon HSP decompression time
All right. We covered morning times. But there’s another very important part to your day….
How much time do you need to decompress after the kids are down for their naps?
Because if you’re a stay-at-home mom, yes, you’re getting a natural break in your day right here. But you need to know how much of that time to reserve for yourself (so you don’t get sucked into housework or something else productive sounding!).
This means no scolding yourself if you find 60 minutes with your laptop, audiobook, or library book doesn’t cut it.
If 90 minutes sewing, scrapbooking, or crafting doesn’t do it for you.
Even if 120 minutes outside in the yard, gardening and weeding, isn’t quite enough to fill you up!
You have to “know thyself.” And that includes how long it takes to recharge your personal HSP mommy batteries after a full day of kid-minding. (Yes, we all get a 2nd shift.)
Personal example: I’m fortunate in that I started quiet time for my kids way before I realized I had HSP tendencies. Once I figured that out, it was just the usual afternoon routine at our house – but now I knew WHY I needed it!
And now it’s gratifying to hear my older kids come to me and comment that they really need quiet during the afternoons to get a break, too – so it’s definitely benefiting the whole family!
So when you get coaching with me, I’m going to be paying a lot of attention to how YOU feel about the day. When YOU need those breaks (and whether you’re getting them). Whether you’re feeling on edge all the time before supper (and help you brainstorm what makes that go away).
Because you deserve an HSP-friendly daily life, breaks included – and your kids deserve a great HSP mom. So we’re going to get you that experience.
Evening HSP regrouping before spouse
Lastly, don’t forget to pay attention to your evening routines, too.
How much time do you need to reset from the day before hanging out with your husband?
Is there anything you needed to get done ahead for the next day?
Both of those types of activities go in there.
Yes, you can do both. You just need to have the time to do it.
So by all means run around the kitchen, prep lunches, and wipe down counters. Set out the fully stocked diaper bag and non-refrigerable snacks for tomorrow’s park outing.
But also give yourself that 20-30-40 minutes alone, taking a walk or journaling, before you flop down with your husband for some well-deserved evening together time.
You need to clear those lingering to-dos from the day from your brain, get all the worries out, and mentally hit the refresh button before you can show up as a good marriage partner. (Otherwise it’s all coming out on him!)
And the best way I know to do that is to give yourself time to think.
You know how you do that best. Either with pen and paper, or with movement – aka a walk all by yourself.
Build that into your post-supper evening routine. Make it a non-negotiable.
And see what happens to your mental load – and your marriage – after.
Just warning you, it’s going to be great.
Which HSP routine are you going to tackle first? Is it your morning time, afternoon decompression, or evening recharge-before-husband spot?
Which time of day jumped out at you?
Go do that one. Get yourself straight on that one. And THEN tackle the others, one at a time, another week or month.
Get your frustration point settled first. Because following your intuition on where to change is the fastest way to see transformation.
Which routine are you brainstorming about today?