Look – I’m guessing you’re the parent on call at your house pretty much all the time.
Yes, sometimes you leave the room, but your husband is probably deferring all the “honey, can you keep the kids quiet and not fighting or something?” parenting to you (when he’s off). Am I right?
But *this* means that you’re never, ever getting a break. ‘Cause you’re always having to be pulled back in to manage the kids/break up sibling fights/shush everyone/etcetera.
Is that fair? I don’t think so.
Look. You’re allowed to ask your husband to watch the kids for 40 minutes between bath and bedtime, so you can shower/work out/journal in peace just for a bit.
You’re allowed to ask *him* to be the parent on call (while the kids are occupied) – for a change.
He’s the dad, too – you can let him be in charge sometimes! In fact, more than “let” – how ‘bout *request*?
Because if you aren’t getting any time to yourself – no white space to even hear yourself think – then you *have* to get creative about giving yourself time off.
And by off, I do mean off – not “well, technically I’m working out by myself but the kids are popping in every minute to tell me something.”
I mean actually *off*, like you would ensure for your husband if he said he needed to go workout. You probably wouldn’t *dream* of letting the kids wander in and out and interrupt him while he’s huffing and puffing and barely talking, right?
He’s the dad, too – you can let him be in charge sometimes!
So respect yourself as much, and (politely) request that *you* be given that same level of “don’t knock on the door when you can ask Daddy” basic courtesy.
Because you’ve got a co-parent, right? He’s not expecting you to be the perpetual nanny, correct?
Then you can ask him for a little bit of time off at the most convenient time for you and him.
It’s okay.
Where in your day – *each* day – can you get that little bit of a “not the parent on call” break?
And if you really, seriously, can’t fit anything in, then where in your weekend are you going to take 2-3 hours to yourself to make up for it?
Because you need adult-only downtime (when you’re *not* keeping half an ear out for what the kids are doing), and you’re going to get it.
Trust me – you’ll be a lot happier for it.
