You used to have this amazing connection based on kids, messy houses, and barely keeping it all together. But what happens now?
You still have the kids – that, you’ll always have in common.
But you got on top of the mess because you started a business.
You delegated the chores because of that business.
And most of your free time/research time/thinking time now goes to, you guessed it, running a business.
And these women are great, but they’re not on that track. You can’t share that part of your life with them.
It feels like you’re cutting off the newest, biggest part of who you’ve become when you’re around them – because you chopped off all the delegation stuff and the “mom’s running a business” stuff to fit in their narrow little box of “kids and messes”.
(And you don’t even have that much of the mess anymore.)
I want you to know that you have options here. There’s no one right way when you’re the only one in your circle who’s got something going on outside her home and family.
See what each of the following options feels like to you – whether you get excited about it, or kind of cringe away internally – and then pick based on that. That’s how you follow your gut. Okay?
So first off, we’ve got the “keep going as a #momlife outlet” on the understanding that talk will be strictly limited to what the kids have been up to lately.
If you’re craving connection, and you have enough things to talk about just on the kids, by all means keep going to your mom group.
However, on the other side of things, if it feels too limiting, too constricting, like you’ve moved past that phase of life (just staying home and cleaning up after toddlers), and you’re really yearning to talk to moms who *understand* what it’s like to have something else going on – if you’re starting to resent going to this park playdate – then you probably need to cut it out.
We always want to seek mentorship and support at our next level, not the previous one.
Now. In between those two extremes, you have a couple of additional options. You can *try* talking to a couple of your closest friends about what it feels like to finally let yourself go after your purpose and talk about how fun it is to let your painting out into the world (or whatever your particular gifting is).
You can ask *them* what talents they have that they’ve been pressing the snooze button on, and if they’ve ever planned to pick them back up again.
Basically, you’re being the voice of encouragement and disruption in *their* lives, gently suggesting that there’s another way – they *can* work in their outside-the-family purpose now.
And lastly, maybe you try sharing this sacred new part of your #momlife with your friends – this “being a mompreneur” part – and you get shut down. Hard.
I want you to know that you’re held through this. You’re *seen* in this. Because those friends are friends who’ve refused their purpose in life, and they’re actively trying to hold you down.
They want to steal that newfound business from you. Because they see that *you* found your purpose again, and they *see* the life that’s bringing you, and they don’t want to watch you living that way.
Because all it does is show them what they’ve refused or rationalized away.
In this situation, you need to get out of there as fast as possible, cut all ties, and speak truth over yourself to combat their parting lies about you, your business, and what will happen to your family as a result.
Okay? You’re going to come away wounded, and you need time with Jesus – time with what He says about you – to patch up those holes before you head back to your own path and purpose.
Because if you don’t get some emergency belief management before heading back to mom as CEO life, you’ll carry those doubts – those lies – those poison-tipped arrows – right back into your God-given calling.
And I don’t want that to happen to you.
Friend, if this has been you, know that it’s going to be okay. You just have to get with the Father and cancel those statements over your outside-the-home pursuit.
And if you’re just worried that your friends are going to act like this, take it to Him, too – ask Him whether you should go to that mom group one last time or just cut the ties pre-emptively.
You’re allowed to ask – you don’t have to find out by experiencing it.
What’s your top worry about friends today? Is it the not getting you, the actively pulling back from you, the worry that you’re ditching women who genuinely care about you, or the fear that they’re going to make you stay a mess?
Journal about this, pray on this, and let God guide you as to what to do. Because you’re not required to stay with the same set of friends, and God doesn’t want you to actively hinder your new business calling by staying in a circle that won’t let Him in.
You’ve got this. Journal, meditate, and call on Him. He’s going to show you exactly what to do next.
Don’t stay with friends who’ve refused their purpose.
