So, here’s the background: my client was totally overwhelmed (because the summer’s even busier than the school year), her kids aren’t doing their share anymore (and expecting her to make up for their weight), and she was feeling very grumpy towards her family.
Here’s what I told her. It’s totally understandable why you’re feeling like this, and yes, it needs to change (the chore load, not your feelings). So here’s what to do: Before you even talk with your kids, get clear on what your minimum-baseline standard is for this summer (in case they literally are too busy to get to everything).
Note: If they are too busy, and you still want them involved in everything, remember that that’s a choice you’re making – an overloaded schedule has to drop something. So this isn’t something to be helpless about, but to remember that you’re choosing.
Now. This does *not* mean that you have to pick up all the slack. Your schedule was full, too! So you get to decide what to drop.
I suggest you cut back to bare bones on the food prep, cleaning, etc. and then redistribute amongst the family as needed.
So if your kids are too busy for 2 of their daily chores, for example, but they can still get to the other 2, then your job is to figure out which 2 chores you prefer to have done, and whether you’re okay with skipping the other 2 just for the summer. (And if you’re not okay with skipping, then you get to choose 2 daily chores on *your* plate that you’re good to drop, so that you can swap your 2 kid chores in!)
Does this feel lighter to you, thinking of your summer schedule as the same finite energy/finite time slots as the rest of the year?
Try this for yourself – if summer is the busiest time of year for you, or if you’re starting to hate vacations, see what *you* can cut back on to keep all the plates spinning!
Because no, summer break doesn’t mean that mom has to overwork to make it all happen. You get to have a break, too.
