So. The kids are home, you’re home, your husband’s home – and you have no idea what you’re going to do with the kids all day.
It sounds like chaos to you, actually. (Since we’re being real here….)
There goes your nice, comfortable routine. No coffee in quiet; no peaceful lunches; no baby-and-me tickle sessions on the floor.
Instead, you’ll have everyone begging for a sip of your drink, the noise of a hundred voices raised in arguments over how their sandwiches were cut (or the leftovers you chose to serve that day), and the moment you get down on the floor to play with the baby by himself? Everyone piles on!
Yikes. No wonder we don’t want the kids back from school.
No wonder sometimes we rethink this whole “work from home” flex arrangement.
No wonder we just need a break.
But if this is you, and the kids aren’t going away (‘cause let’s be real – summer camp doesn’t cover all of summer!), let’s do something about it.
Let’s find out how to thrive at home when your routine is upended.
All set? Here’s what you do.
First thing: Track your new normal.
Before you can effectively attack the pain points in this new routine (or lack thereof), you’ve got to know the root issue.
What’s really going on during your day?
Forget how you used to run it.
Forget your comfortable, cozy set of habits.
Forget everything.
What is happening now? What are the kids doing now? How are they driving you crazy now?
Get it all out of your head.
Go through every part of your day – morning, breakfast, late morning, lunch prep, lunch cleanup, post-lunch but pre-naps, naptime when the kids are home, late afternoon, suppertime, you name it.
What’s your new normal – play compare and contrast here – and what don’t you like about it?
Just write it all down. Vent on paper. Breathe.
Second tip: Identify the pain points.
What’s the real problem here?
- Kids begging for homework help when you’re on a Zoom call?
- Lunch at home creating different expectations than the schoolbox lunch you would’ve normally packed?
- Your husband thinking the house should look wonderful 12 hours a day since he’s home the whole time?
Think root level here.
It’s not a blanket “the kids are home and they spoiled everything,” or even “the kids are going wild with no routine to adhere to.”
It’s more like, “They don’t have to be done with breakfast by a certain time, so no one finishes till 10am. Then they come right back for snacks… then lunch… and no one ever has clean teeth!”
(Not to mention that you aren’t getting a break from food prep for the little ones!)
Or how about this? “My spouse’s expectations for a home-cooked dinner are now spilling over into lunch and breakfast.”
That’s concrete. That’s something you can work with. As opposed to, “He’s just making even more work for me!”
Set up your day so you get what you need (instead of just whining about it).
You see the difference? What you need is a specific grievance, a particular problem, a solvable point of indignation.
Otherwise you won’t be able to brainstorm. (At least not anything specific, useful, or likely to succeed! And we do want you to succeed.)
Third idea: Find new solutions to new problems.
The last thing you’re going to do to get control of this new “everyone at home” setup is come up with solutions. Even if they’re temporary.
Go ahead and list out anything and everything that could possibly counter your pain points from the last section.
- Can the kids set a 40-minute timer for breakfast? (When the timer goes off, no more food!)
- Can your husband dish himself leftovers from a specific shelf in the fridge? (Everything there is free to be eaten….)
- Could you institute home chores to replace classroom chores? (Guess what! You’re going to learn how to load the dishwasher or sweep under the table post-meal.)
Trial it – there’s no harm in experimenting! So often we give ourselves the “you should be able to set up a new work-from-home plus homeschooling routine in a flash” line.
When really, that’s crazy talk.
All you need to do is try something. If it doesn’t work, no big deal! Just pick the next solution from your list and give that a go.
Really, it doesn’t have to be so hard.
We don’t have to strive to be perfect from the get go.
We’re allowed to just feel things through.
We’re human – and so are your kids. It’s perfectly natural to wish they’d give you peace and quiet.
So why don’t we set up your day, add some structure and boundaries, so that you do get what you need, instead of just whining about it?
That’s what an action-taker does. And I know you’re one of them.
What are you going to change today?
