Tell me if this sounds familiar:
You tell your kids to clean up, they tell you that they’re done, and… it doesn’t look any different.
Oh, boy. Life of a mom, right?
Let me fill you in on the three-step process I use with my own kids – maybe it’ll spark some ideas for you.
Ready?
Character building time
The first thing you need to do is get straight on the importance of a work ethic.
This is one of the most important (well, top five) things you can teach your kids, imo.
Agreed?
All right. Now, how are they going to learn it?
Chores.
I can’t think of a better way to teach them a good work ethic plus the consequences of a job not well done, with real life examples.
Set the example
Number two, get practical.
You’ve got to teach your kids how to vacuum carpets, dust baseboards, or clean up the dog poop from the yard.
Because they don’t know how, and they don’t want to.
You know what?
The thing I remember most about my dad is the time he spent teaching me to take pride in a job well done.
And you know how he did it? By making me clean bathrooms.
(And you better believe my nine-year-old self hated the thought of running my nice, clean hands all over those gunky surfaces! What was I going to do, touch yucky things? Enter a dose of no-nonsense dad-wisdom….)
I got over it pretty fast, but it wasn’t really till my teenage years that I learned to enjoy the process of cleaning. To see just how sparkly I could leave those faucets.
No one would have a problem with my work when I was done – no one.
Decide in advance what the consequences are and how you’re going to respond.
Always follow up
And lastly, decide in advance how you’re going to keep watch on their follow-through, what the consequences are, and how you’re going to respond.
(Let me tell you, it’s much easier than parenting on the fly, in the moment, based on what you feel/how much time you have! And you’re much more likely to actually get that bathroom floor clean.)
All the good intentions (even good cleaning examples!) in the world won’t magically make things right when your nine-year-old “forgets” to sweep the floor like you told him to, or your seven-year-old leaves the laundry in the dryer and runs out of underwear.
You’re going to have to step in at some point.
So have a plan upfront:
- Are you going to give them fifteen minutes to complete a chore on their own before you look in to check their progress?
- Are they required to inform you when they’re done so you can inspect?
- Do they lose some allowance money if they choose not to clean the toilets, leaving you to do the work (and earn the pay)?
Know what you’re going to do, how you’re going to respond, when they don’t follow through.
Because it’s going to happen.
They’ll learn.
Don’t worry, it’s part of the process.
So what do you think – is it time to start nurturing that work ethic in your kids?
Which chores could you delegate to them for that purpose?
And what are you going to do if they balk and refuse to do them?
It’s your family. Your values. And your choices.
What changes are you going to make today?
