Hey WAHM – are your kids doing too many chores?

Are your kids overworked, or are they just barely skating by with a few token chores?

As moms, we don’t want our kids to turn into the unpaid help while we laze around the house. (As if!) But how do we strike that balance between letting our kids do too much or too little?

Here’s how to decide: We’re going to look at values, interests, and your gut. And by the end of this, you’ll know whether to ramp up the chore load or decrease it.

Ready? Here we go!

Set your values

What are your family values around chores, responsibility, and doing a good job?

You don’t need to go through a whole “family mission statement” exercise for this one. All we need is your (and your husband’s) view on work, kids, and the intersection thereof.

• Are you most interested in the kids being willing to lend a hand no matter what you’re doing?
• Do you envision teenagers who are expert cooks, home repair guys (or girls), or excellent moppers?
• Or do you prioritize teaching them that excellence and initiative get rewarded – and you’ll be handing out the extra allowance money to incentivize people who notice what needs doing?

Drill down on YOUR chore plus character priorities. They’re what matters, not your best friend’s system. (Even if she swears by a certain brand of chore chart!)

Notice their interests

Now, what about your kids’ interests? Let them do the chores they like best.

There’s nothing wrong with teaching them that we can enjoy work – it’s not ALL lectures about responsibility/tough luck/get it done!

• Do you have a kid who enjoys scrubbing? Put him to work on those toilets – maybe even your kitchen floors! He can be your “scrub the gunk” go-to.
• Got a girl who loves to sweep? Have her sweep as much as she can. Think kitchen floors, front porch, garage, car clean-out (with a dustpan and hand brush), and any non-carpet floor in the house!
• Or perhaps you have a budding baker? What about handing off a good chunk of the food prep to him: I need dough started for the hamburger buns, you can choose a dessert for this weekend, and don’t forget to stir the granola every half hour so it doesn’t burn.

See how much easier that is than forcing the baker to scrub toilets while the sweeper grudgingly crushes eggshells into your burger batter?

Watch your gut

Finally, check in with your mom intuition. What does your gut tell you?

Maybe your kids really do need some cross-training on bathrooms vs. kitchen help. (They’ve been skating too long on the “working to my strengths” thing!)

Fine – tell them they get a month’s rotation on someone else’s chore, and if they do a good job, they can go right back to their favorites! (And if not, they clearly need more practice….)

Perhaps you’ve been assuming your kids just need to “get with it” and start cleaning whether they like it or not. It sounds so freeing in comparison to let your little wannabe cook loose in the kitchen, instead of telling her she has to scrub toilets instead!

Go with that – let it be easy and enjoyable.

Hey, even you have household tasks you like better than others. (Folding laundry and packaging leftovers would be mine!)

Set the example, let your kids know you’re ALLOWED to enjoy work, and start using everyone’s strengths to your benefit.

A little fun goes a long way.