Do you know how to inspect your kids’ chores nicely? You know, in a compassionate, non-scolding manner that still holds them accountable for dirt and mud?
This is kind of a challenging area, so that’s why today’s episode is focused on chore management. Specifically, on how to follow up till it’s done while supporting your kids through the process.
Keep listening for my chore evaluation hacks!
Double check their foundation
First, let’s get on the same page here. We’ll go through the bathroom as an example.
- Did you show them what a clean bathroom looks like, in detail?
- Did you demonstrate how to use each cleaner and scrubby brush you want them to use?
- Did you give them a training period where you reminded them what to scrub next, and pointed out any major spots they missed?
Then they’re ready to go. And their work can certainly be evaluated.
Do you need to use this training rubric on all your kids’ chores, or just a few that you missed?
It’s the rule’s fault
Next, stay calm. Leave all your parental guilt trips, responsibility shaming, and I’m-disappointed-in-you emotions at the door.
Use a reasonable voice to point out any shortcomings, very much in an “I’m not the bad guy; I’m just telling you the rules” kind of way.
Treat inspecting the bathroom cleaning like grading math homework.
You wouldn’t scold them over every little error, say “I can’t believe you can’t understand what a correct math problem looks like,” would you? Of course not.
So take the emotion out of the inspection and just tell ‘em what still needs cleaning. Then follow up on it.
Treat inspecting the bathroom cleaning like grading math homework.
Keep on till it’s done
Third, follow up with that second (and third) bathroom inspection. In this case, FINISHING the bathroom to your satisfaction is really the point (less so “getting in the habit” of swirling a scrub brush around).
You’re trying to teach them to master a task, not to sort of clean (or weed or bake bread). Just like the math homework, your goal is that 100% corrected (or cleaned) status.
Notice what you’re doing right now.
- Do you let your kids skip out on re-sweeping the kitchen because they “worked hard,” even though there are tons of crumbs in one corner?
- Are you skipping the “move your laundry to the dryer” reminders and bemoaning those 10pm sheet changes from your backup set?
- Does it sound like too much bother to ask your kids to go back over the dishes when they leave crusty bits on the dinner plates?
Do the work on yourself first to get over the do-over guilt.
It’s totally normal to have to ask your kids to redo cleaning jobs when they’re still in the learning process (or just have a problem with getting all the corners).
But what you SHOULDN’T be doing is acting like it’s a big deal that you’re asking them to do it over. Nope, that’s the norm.
‘Cause excellence is your standard. Not “I gave it a go and called it good” cleaning (except for the four-year-olds.)
Where do you need to uplevel your chore inspecting today? Is it the training, the no shaming, or the following up?
Let’s get this (clean house) show on the road.
You deserve it.
