I’m sure this scenario is familiar to you: you go to the fridge to start supper, but then realize you somehow forgot to thaw the meat for tonight’s meal.
Which means you’re out of luck on that one and you have to come up with an entire entrée on the fly.
After you’ve dealt with what to cook and checking for ingredients and actually getting it going, how’s your self-talk looking?
- Are you apologizing to your family left and right for serving a different meal than you’d put on the chalkboard?
- Are you beating yourself up for not remembering your own thaw reminder?
- Or are you congratulating yourself for figuring out a new, quick dinner plan that you successfully executed on?
I’m betting that most of the time you’re in one or two. When where we *need* to be is three.
Yay, you changed! You adapted! You flexed with life!
I’m more interested in you getting really good at rolling with the punches than I am in you sticking rigidly to a predetermined schedule.
‘Cause what’s going to help you live into that lighter mindset? That “everything is figureoutable” quote? (Thanks, Marie Forleo!)
I think a heavy dose of “ability to change” is what does the trick here.
Because you know what? The hardest thing to do is to release your own expectations.
Whether it’s the involved stir-fry with 10 ingredients in the (oh so tasty) sauce you were planning on making tonight, but then ditched for a fast meal, or the idea that you “should” dress up by adding the necklace, or shoes, or accessories (when you actually feel fine the way you are), or the park plans you had for the day (and told everyone about) when you only feel like curling up with a movie and hot chocolate for the afternoon.
It’s your own expectations that are getting in the way, not the re-planning you’d need to do.
The hardest thing to do is to release your own expectations.
But you know what? If you want to stop living in guilt zone – quit staying in that “I’m so terrible” headspace – then you’ve *got* to release that pressure valve on yourself.
Burned the meat? Oh well, that happens to all cooks sometimes. Here, would you like something else for supper? (Instead of scolding yourself for ruining the food.)
Didn’t make it through your to-do list? Sorry, honey, things got really full today. I’ll put it on as my first thing tomorrow. (Not, “I never follow through with other people.”)
Do you see the difference here? One is a guilt-laden existence, full of bad emotions and stressful centers.
The other radiates growth, peace, and light – because you’re giving yourself grace.
And that’s the missing ingredient in so many #momlives – grace.
Grace for spilled cheerios.
Grace for sticky counters.
Grace for pjs and old buns.
Grace for leftovers for supper.
It’s called grace for not measuring up to that impossible standard of perfection that you’re holding over yourself. Because God doesn’t hold that over you either. Not if you’ve already surrendered to Him, that is.
So wouldn’t it be easier to just ditch your mental perfection to begin with? Not go through the “expectation-failure-forgiveness” cycle all over again, twenty times a day?
What if we just opened our day with a plan (that we already surrendered to God), made our way through it with whatever adaptations we needed, and then rejoiced at the end in a day well done?
What kind of mental grace would *that* leave for you, today?
