Is alone time worth the mom guilt when you’re a mompreneur?

Do you ever feel like those few minutes of technically-alone-time aren’t worth it, compared to the mess you’re going to face as soon as you reappear?

Today’s episode is all about what to do when that happens.

Aka, how to deal when you’re trading time for mom guilt – and what to do about it.

Get ready for some serious mindset upleveling!

The real reason for alone time

Here’s why you need alone time to function: It’s just not possible to be “on” all day with diaper changes, sibling squabbles, and homes to clean when you’re an introvert.

It just isn’t. Not at full empathy, top energy, or high brainpower, at any rate!

So what alone time does is it gives you that mental “nap” from your kids. That parenting break. It’s your coffee break from “work” (if you’re staying home with the kids).

And you need to give yourself this break if you don’t want to fall apart on your kids or husband later this evening after you’ve prepped dinner, washed dishes, cleaned up the kitchen, given baths, dealt with homework…. You get the deal.

You aren’t just parenting for an eight-hour shift; that you could handle. You’re on it for fourteen hours a day, plus on call nights!

So don’t give yourself this “it’s just my job” crap and hold yourself to an impossible standard. Okay?

Now, don’t forget what your kids are getting out of this arrangement. When you institute a family-wide recharge time, you’re giving THEM time off, too!

What they get out of it

How’s that for a “can’t wait till quiet time” reframe? (Especially if you have older kids who need a break from school and chores, or a kid who really craves that “by myself” time apart from noisy siblings!)

Ditch the guilt with this reframe: We’re both taking an afternoon break.

Some examples:

• Naps for littles
• Quiet books and games for preschoolers
• Building Lego or doing art on their own for elementary schoolers
• Whatever their hobby is for middle and high schoolers

And you? I bet you know EXACTLY what you’re beelining for the moment they’re all in their rooms!

Here’s what you need to do: Pick a two-hour span during your afternoons that doesn’t have anything going on. (Or one where you could easily move your errands/cleaning chores.)

Then announce to the kids that from 2-4pm, they’re getting a break in their rooms from each other – no sharing required – AND from any schoolwork or chores they have left to do.

You need a break from your to-do list; they get one from theirs.

After that, it’s as simple as enforcing the “in your room; it’s still quiet time” rule. (Don’t forget to do something for yourself from 2-4pm as well – no cleaning allowed!)

Check that guilt

Finally, let’s do some more journaling about this whole quiet time concept.

• What are you still feeling guilty about?
• How much time sounds like too much?
• What happens if your kids revolt and want to go back to chores? (Okay, not likely to happen.)

Ask the five why’s and get to the bottom of it.

Now, is that fifth answer true? Probably not. So what IS the truth here? Repeat that to yourself each time the mom guilt rears its head.

Remember, you’re giving your kids a chance to experience their best mom, day in and day out. Isn’t that worth something?

In fact, shouldn’t you be striving for the very best parenting experience for them?

And it just so happens to require that YOU take time away from THEM. Can you say, win-win?

• Do you need to give yourself permission to take that couple hour break from your kids each day?
• Do you need a “banish the guilt” button whenever you’re about to step back from being on all day?
• Or do you just need permission to set your kids up with a few different activities and let them play on their own for a while?

Whatever you need, you’re allowed to make it happen. Because it’s going to be better for them, not just for you.

A happier, more present mom – kids who got a break from each other – a less stressed, rushed home. What’s not to approve of?

Go grab your scheduler and take a look at today. Where can you fit in some whole-house-recharge time this afternoon?

Pencil it in and make it happen. You both win.

What are YOU going to relax with in your alone time today?