How do you know if your standards are set too high? (For stuff you’ve asked your kids to do, that is.)
When do you need to back off, take a time out, and just let kids be kids?
Today we’re going to talk about the role of cleaning standards, what nagging has to do with chore inspection, and what expectations are appropriate for your kids.
Are you ready to ditch the mom delegation guilt?
Basic survival needs
First off, let’s get one thing straight. Baseline standards of cleanliness (whether for their faces or the floors) are NOT mean. Far from it. You’re teaching your kids to survive in society.
Their dorm roommate, officemate, or spouse is going to expect a modicum (okay, more than a modicum) of neatness from their prospective partner. Right?
So now’s the time to teach your kids what cleanliness looks like.
- No, you may not leave crumbs on the counters. (Or the ants will come in.)
- No, we have to wipe sticky spills off the floor before it’s labeled clean. (Otherwise that juice will attract dirt, and create an even bigger problem for you next time.)
- Yes, you’re going to have to pick your clean clothes off the floor. (Or else I won’t be able to tell what’s clean and what’s dirty, and you’ll have to rewash everything.)
That sort of thing.
Teach excellence
Next up, requiring your kids to MEET those standards isn’t nagging; it’s teaching them they can’t get away with skating off.
That you’re not a pushover (because their college professor or boss most certainly won’t be).
And that they’re not going to get away with a sloppy job. (‘Cause who sets out to teach their kids that sloppiness is acceptable?)
Not you, and not me – so guess what. As moms, we have to step up and do the work.
Requiring your kids to meet standards teaches them that they can’t get away with a sloppy job.
The work of reminding, of holding them accountable, and of believing in those standards.
Your kids’ future work ethic depends on it.
They can do it
Finally, our kids are more capable than we think.
Obviously, don’t kick ‘em out in the cold (aka, far beyond their comfort zone), but do ask them to step up and give you a hand with the recipe, differentiate weeds from seedlings, or figure out how to scrub that pesky stain off the floor.
They’ve got ideas; they can understand basic concepts; and they’ve certainly got the elbow grease. (At the very least, you’ll have fewer layers of grime to take off!)
Where do the chores need an uplevel?
Is it the lingering guilt around asking your kids to help out, or ditching the mindset that reminding equals nagging, or even just realizing that your kids are very capable little people who can do a lot?
Pinpoint the issue (that’s the first step to solving it). Brainstorm what would make it better. Hit those mindset reset buttons.
And watch your kids’ responsibility meters climb way up.
You CAN have kids who help out around the house – and you deserve it. (So do their future roommates, coworkers, and spouses.)
So ditch the delegation guilt, set those cleaning standards, and get help with the chores today!
