What does it mean to build a business around your life? And what does that truly mean when you’re also a mom – a stay at home one, to boot? It’s got to be different – we’re not single guys jetting off to travel for months at a time while our Filipino VAs handle the rest of our business. We’re wives, moms of small kids, moms of active-and-involved kids, and we have entire houses to look after. So what’s it look like for us?
Well, I think it starts with playing within your prescribed limits – and knowing which ones aren’t actually limits at all. Think about it this way. Your job is to see that the house is clean & food is cooked – but you don’t actually have to MAKE it. Clean it. You just need to buy, hire, or do it yourself – that’s 3 options there. So doing the actual cleaning and cooking isn’t a limit; it’s merely overseeing how it gets done that you need to do, before you work on your business. (Which is a perspective shift that can free up a lot of time!)
All right, what about kids? That’s a hard limit, isn’t it? Not so fast. Yes, you’re the primary caretaker – but release yourself from the responsibility of being on 24/7. You’re allowed to request that your husband take the kids for a couple hours on Saturday, or one evening a week, to have some fun daddy time at the park, while you work either at the coffee shop or the quiet house.
Also: you’re allowed to say that you’re a stay-at-home mom, AND you want help. During the day. During the morning. When you’re still awake. This can mean a mother’s helper, an actual babysitter, something like that – someone who’s taking care of your kids and getting their meals and folding the laundry for you – during a specified window of time. Just because you did childcare 21/7 does NOT mean you’re not still their mom! Okay?
So, neither of those turned out to be hardline limits. What are? Well, you’re probably not going to go travel the world without your family. (You might take a couple business trips to conferences without them, though!)
You’re not going to leave your husband totally out of the picture on what’s happening in your business. He doesn’t have to be your legal partner, with say on whatever you do in it, though. You don’t have to hire him because you think you “should” be a husband-and-wife team on this. (Think about it – you wouldn’t automatically work for him, would you? Of course not! It would depend on whether your skill set was even suited to his position.) So don’t fall into the trap of assuming this has to be a “family” business to justify its existence.
It doesn’t. It’s your thing, and that’s okay.
Really, all this comes down to is that you’ve added a 3rd role to your life: wife, mother, AND business owner. You’re not ditching either of the 1st two ones for this, and you’d never want to. So I think we can release this idea that we need to struggle or strive somehow to build our business around our life.
We’re already doing that; we’re moms. Most of us are working part-time. We’re still handling all our household responsibilities (sometimes doing too much, if truth be told!). We’re already fitting our business around our stay-at-home lives.
So release the pressure. Release this new set of expectations. And know that you’re already living in the right mold. You’re already where God wants you to be. All you have to do is move forward.
