We can too easily mix up being “here to serve” with “needing to serve everyone in anything all the time.”
Think of it this way. Are you the mom who “serves” each and every one of her kids by doing their chores, cleaning their rooms, making them hot meals, cleaning up the kitchen, and grumbling about it the whole time? Reading them stories – in a monotone – because they asked for 10 books? Taking them to the park, grumpily, because they asked and you have to obey?
Hmm. That’s the idea some of us have when we hear “moms should serve their families.”
Do you think you’d want to be on the receiving end of that “service”?
Or what about this scenario?
You leave your kids to pour cereal in the morning while you’re in your bedroom, journaling something out with God.
When you come up, you’re all cheerful and dressed. Your kids mob you with hugs and “I want to do this today” suggestions, and you choose one of their ideas (the one that’s most in line with your energy today & what chores you’ve got going on).
You tell them that if they’re done by 9am with their room pickup and garden watering, we can certainly go to the train park or wherever. They hop to it, you do your own morning housekeeping tasks, and then everyone’s off on their fun outing.
When you’re back, lunch is pre-planned, and you sweep everyone off to their rooms for some quiet decompression time after a noisy sibling-full outing.
You spend 2 hours doing something enjoyable for yourself, and once the “quiet time” timer goes off, you offer to let each kid pick ONE story for you to read to them. And then it’s going to be time to get supper.
That mom has limits.
That mom didn’t do whatever her kids wanted.
That mom gave herself morning time AND afternoon time to refresh.
- Is she being a bad mom?
- Is she getting out of serving her family?
- Do her kids feel like she’s ignoring them?
I don’t think so. And that’s the kind of boundaries-plus-service mom life we can all aspire to.
Because the key to YOU getting that recharge time on the daily is – guess what – your own mindset. Whether you ACTUALLY feel WORTHY of – and therefore ASK – for what you need in terms of help around the house (so you can fill your cup again and be there FOR them later).
Like the time I asked my kids to cook dinner (‘cause it’s well within their capabilities and they need to be practicing more entrees, anyways), rather than getting up to cook supper for everyone, because I’d had an especially long client call and guest interview day.
So how’s your worthiness level doing right now?
Is it bottoming out, or are you feeding it daily with “made in the image of God” and “on the seventh day He rested” reminders that you DON’T actually need to be going full bore, 100% of the time?
See where your service vs. selfcare meters are now – then tweak ONE thing about your current “bite my tongue and just get it done” habit to invite in more support.
What’s the first use-my-own-bootstraps habit you’re changing today?
