Time for some #realmom talk:
Do you ever feel like you’re stuck in a superhero movie? You know, one where all the cards are stacked against you, and your powers just aren’t materializing?
You’re supposed to be this wonderful, amazing mom – have a great house – be out with friends regularly – get fit and stay fit – have a hobby (to stay interesting) – eat healthy (whatever the latest trend for that is) – have a career/passion project for personal fulfillment – and oh yes, be an awesome wife.
And then, somehow, life doesn’t work out that way.
- Babies come with blowouts and spit-ups and three-times-a-night feedings.
- Toddlers constantly need sippy cup refills, restraint from hitting and throwing, and feeding time clean-up.
- Older kids require character parenting plus a whole slew of “no, math is not stupid” and “yes, you have to pick up your room” reinforcements.
You’re like: “I’m sorry, I think I’m more interested in trying to finish that cup of coffee than brainstorming what personal passion project I should go for and whether I’ve given my husband five loving touches today!”
That’s today’s motherhood.
But: it’s all a myth – and you don’t have to stay there.
No one is superwoman IRL
None of the moms you see online are unattainable superwomen. None.
I don’t care what their Instagram feed says, or how perfect their family photos/menus/whatever are. They’re dropping the ball somewhere.
And if it’s okay for them to not do everything, why isn’t it okay for you?
You have just as much right to enjoy motherhood, craft your version of an awesome life, and choose what not to do as they do.
So let’s quit thinking that somewhere out there, some woman is doing it all.
(If she is, she’s probably stressed to the max and pretty unhappy about it. So why would we want her as a role model?)
Choose one area to ditch the mom guilt. (Advanced strategy: find three or more!)
- Are you going to drop the everything-from-scratch cooking expectation?
- Quit sourcing all organic?
- Not pressure yourself to read to each kid thirty minutes a day?
- Ditch the expectation of keeping the living room showing-level tidy?
- Stop trying for a magazine-worthy master bedroom that impresses all your friends? (And annoys your husband with all those pillows!)
Find something – several somethings – and give yourself a break. Cut yourself some slack. Whether for this season or for all time, you’re not going to care (at that level) anymore.
Why? Because you don’t have to.
Your life is not all about organic food from the farmer’s market. Slow-simmered marinara sauce. The most Pinterest-worthy house. The best-behaved kids.
So quit acting like it is whenever you fail to reach perfection in that one area, choose your level of success, and let the rest go.
You’ll be a lot happier.
This is reality, too
You know, sometimes I just need a break. And I bet you do, too.
Life doesn’t always look like what the productivity and parenting experts say.
There are chores that are half-done (‘cause the kids ran off to go look at the trash truck and never came back), or the noisy-naptime kids when I just. need. a. break.
It’s all about changing one thing to like your life better today.
But that’s the in-between. The troughs of life in daily parenting.
It’s not where we spend the bulk of our time, that simmering frustration of half-finished tasks and constant interruptions. (And if that is your reality, I want to help!)
We’re making progress, learning how to adjust our days, and giving ourselves grace when the energy just isn’t there.
There’s grace, and coffee, and Jesus for today – and maybe we’ll get to that organizing project next Monday. (Or month. Or year.)
Further up and further in
We’re all in this together – knowing better, doing better every step of the way. A little bit at a time.
And you know what? We’re getting there. There is a difference.
It’s all about forward progress. About changing one thing to like your life better today.
Add all those one things up, and pretty soon you’ve got a radically different life.
It was all small stuff (or mostly all), but three dozen daily tweaks over two months and you’ll have a much different experience of motherhood.
Give yourself a 30-day challenge: what expectation, chore, or routine am I going to change today to make my life better?
And then see where you’re at on Day 31. Go on – it’s going to be amazing.
Stop playing superwoman, try one thing at a time, and watch your life explode. (In a good way, of course.)
What’s first on your to-change list today?
