Do you struggle with repeat anxiety during just your normal week as a mom, running the house? Have you ever wished you could just make it all go away and “be normal” like the rest of them?
This week we’re going to dive into how your brain’s neurodiversity affects your planning patterns, what to do about it, and how to see your anxiety-prone basepoint as actually a strength.
Sound good? Let’s dive in!
Plan for a varied schedule
Bottom line: If rapidly-changing situations stress you out, create a plan for the 3 most common variations of your week.
You know planning helps you; you know it keeps a handle on your anxiety.
So let’s flex the tool to work with the situation. Here’s what I mean by that.
Say you’ve got a “normal” week. Great! Have you tweaked your weekly calendar template for that? Set up all your normal “leave at this time for that outing” reminders?
Wonderful. Save that one, and label it “Regular” or something.
Now, what’s your 2nd-most-common week look like? Is it double practices for BOTH kids, or husband working late 4 nights a week, or family in town?
(This is where you personalize it to your situation.)
Make a copy of your normal week, and start adjusting your calendar for that “off but happens all too frequently” one.
- How do you work the get ready and go times with twice the number of practices?
- What do you do for supper and kid activities when your husband isn’t home?
- How does the family routine change when extended family is in town?
Make a list of all your usual hacks and tweaks, and build them into your schedule.
Now you’ve got an already-prepared set of “do this, not this” reminders for next time your husband tells you he’s got to do overtime!
(Of course, be sure to save this calendar variation as “Overtime,” or “Games Practice,” or “Family Visiting” or something.)
Third, see what your other family schedule deviation tends to be. Yes, you get to make a calendar template for that, too.
Because that’s what’s going to help your anxiety the most. Going above and beyond.
It’s bugging you. So we’re going to do something about it. Have that template ready to go.
Why? Because it’s what you need.
And you’re allowed to have what you need, mentally speaking.
So repeat the “what do I need to change, save, and rename” process for whatever your 3rd variation of life is, and set yourself up for low-anxiety success in the process.
Re-plan when your schedule changes
Now, what happens next time you get the news that overtime is happening, or family is stopping by, and you completely weren’t expecting it?
In fact, you really kind of needed it to NOT be happening this week?
Well, the first thing you do is breathe, remind yourself that you have a plan, and take the time to change the plan.
Here’s the new mantra to tell yourself when thrown for a loop by non-understanding family members: I can adjust to this as soon as I update my plan.
In fact, go ahead and tell it to them, straight out, if they’re pressing you for decisions: “Just give me 20 minutes to update everything and change around our calendar.”
I can’t tell you how many times my husband has told me the NEW extended family gathering plan – AFTER I’ve already made all my grocery lists, food prep reminders, and daily schedules to account for the time, energy, and meals that outing will take.
Ugh. It’s one of my least favorite things, switching up perfectly good plans like that (with little to no notice).
But since it’s happening multiple times a year, and I don’t intend to give up my planning ways (anxiety coping mechanism here), what am I going to do about it?
Now that I know this about myself, I can ask my husband not to say yes to our involvement with the new plan until I’ve had a chance to rework all MY plans to account for these changes.
And if relatives’ ideas of what works will no longer work for us, I’m allowed to say so, and back out!
God knew this was coming. All you have to do now is re-plan.
See, a big part of coaching is that emotion management response. It’s having someone to go to when you’re freezing up, or you hate what your automatic response last week was, and you just want someone to talk to about it.
Someone who’s invested in YOUR side of the story, what makes YOU feel good and peaceful and settled about your daily routines, and knows that you’re a great mom who just needs a couple of (not too hard) special accommodations.
And that’s what I’m building for you inside of #Momlife Made Easy.
See planning as your strength
Finally, after you’ve gone through the schedule switch and gotten everything sorted out again, I want you to take another deep breath (or five).
Let out that sigh of relief. Everything’s back to normal again.
And remind yourself of your strengths.
It’s not that you’re locked into rigid expectations; it’s that you’re *great* at making sure everything runs according to plan.
And that just means you really do better with a ton of pre-planning and setting everything up.
That’s just how you are. And life functions way more smoothly when you live like this.
(Your aunt doesn’t have to be the same! And your husband’s work really can’t be helped. It wasn’t his decision. Nor was game practice stack-up your kids’ fault.)
But YOU are going to take responsibility for YOUR brain’s functioning, and help yourself stress out less with a few simple tricks.
Because a less-stressed life equals a more joyful one, a healthier one, a more God-honoring one.
Because He certainly isn’t pleased when we’re running around, completely stressing out, forgetting that He saw that overtime coming. He knew when your aunt was planning her trip. He knew when your son’s coach would schedule those practices.
He KNEW.
And we have to start remembering that, and releasing our anxiety to Him as part of the planning process.
Yes, I just got thrown for a curve here. But You knew what was coming. It’s okay. All I have to do now is re-plan. (Or just change the plan.) I’m okay. You’ve got this.
Which weeks are going to get a handy, dandy schedule variation all written up for YOUR family? (To help you manage your “don’t take away my plan” anxiety?)
Let’s remember God is sovereign, and then go do it. (The planning, that is.)
You’ve got this – and so does He.
