Is raising responsible kids incompatible with taking time off for yourself?
I say no… and in today’s episode, here’s why.
You don’t need to be a slave to your kids – not even to their schooling, character training, or sibling referee-ing!
How do you take an unbusy approach to parenting, while still guaranteeing yourself that time off?
Glad you asked – keep reading!
Give them practice cleaning up spills
Whisking yourself away (if only to the front porch with your Kindle) lets THEM handle the sibling fights and toothpaste spills on their own.
They know how to, after all; they’d just rather you deal with it FOR them. (Naturally.)
Put that way, isn’t it your duty to give them a chance to practice taking care of themselves? Being the ultimate clean-up authority, or their own chore task master?
How else are they going to learn? (That’s not a rhetorical question, either.)
Instructions in absentia are a good thing
Next, let’s get over the mindset that leaving instructions for the older ones is a cop out. (By the time I come back in 90 minutes, I want to see these three chores done – and here’s a list.)
It’s not; you’re actually giving them a chance at real-world responsibility. Once they’re older school-age, they have the maturity to at least make that choice (do I play now, or knock out that chore first?), which gives you plenty of scope for parenting discussions.
There’s no reason NOT to train your kids in “work first, play later” and “do it when nobody’s watching.”
And how will they learn? Practice. Practice, practice, practice. (So make sure you’re giving it to them!)
Train your kids in “work first, play later” and “do it when nobody’s watching.”
Step back to give them wings
Finally, responsibility and independence only come from stepping back.
You HAVE to, as a mom. (If you want your kids ever loading that dishwasher – and running it – on their own, or moving the laundry when it beeps, or chilling the cheesecake when the timer goes off.)
Letting them stay in their familiar home environment, sticking to their normal routine, and just adding a couple to-dos to their list? That’s about the easiest possible way to let them try their wings.
I can’t think of anything easier, in fact – if it’s grandma’s house, they have to learn where she keeps things first, THEN get up to par on HER cleaning standards! (Whereas here, your kids already know where you keep the cleaners and what you define as a good job, right?)
It’s time to regain our time AND retrain our kids. Yes, you can have both.
Which chore (or set of chores) is top of your “life skills training” list?
- Laundry?
- Toilet scrubbing?
- Setting the Instapot?
Pick your top priority and get your kids started on it today.
Slowly, at first – “here’s how you do this.” Then try popping out to the backyard and pulling some weeds while they layer dough ingredients in the bread machine. (Full permission to keep an ear out for “mooooom, it isn’t working!”)
For your final step, leave the house completely, with “make hamburger buns for supper” one of three things on their to-do-before-I-come-home list. (And a backup plan in case they forget to add the yeast!)
You’re getting the hang of this, so have a little fun with the delegation process!
There’s no reason why you can’t be proud of your kids’ breadmaking or bathroom cleaning skills – and they will be, too.
Which chore are you handing off today?
