Your Google calendar just reminded you that it’s time for “Selfcare Block.”
You roll your eyes, pull up the client project again, and get back to refining their sales copy.
‘Cause what you DON’T have is time to finish everything off today’s to-do list – you’re going to have to bump the workshop prep again (and it’s getting pretty close to deadline, too) just to wrap everything for these “due by Friday” sales copy deliverables.
Which means that “taking time out” to “refresh yourself” and “fill your own cup” is bunk. Laughably bunk – in that ironic, might be nice, you’re so out of touch way, of course.
When you’re behind on the daily requirements of crossing off your to-do list, slowing down is pretty much anathema.
And even when you’re NOT behind, and you DO have that extra space in your day…. Remind me who thought it was a good idea to tell an entrepreneur to QUIT working and take a break to “have fun”?!
(Our business IS our fun, half the time! In fact, compared to tantrums and kitchen clean-up and cooking… make that ¾ of the time.)
So, other than kicking these unrealistic “selfcare experts” (and their advice) to the curb, what SHOULD a business mom be doing (or not doing!) about carving out refresh time??
(I mean, assuming that you’re feeling like you need some “just me” recharge time – right??)
Here’s the key: only give yourself what you need to make it in this business long term.
(No, this doesn’t mean ONLY work overtime, hustle like crazy in your DM marketing, and sign up for ALL the social media platforms to capture EVERY possible audience….)
Because “only” is actually going to give you a whole lot of clarity when paring back your to-do list.
- Maybe, to still be churning out sales page rewrites 10 years from now, you feel like you’re going to need a team. Reliable contractors who can handle the inbox and impatient client check-ins and all your social media marketing for you.
- Maybe it’s not the business that drains you – it’s your house. What would really give YOU the energy to keep in that CEO mindset would be if somebody else cooked 5 nights a week, handled dropoff and pickup, and kept the pantry stocked (so you didn’t need to keep a mental tab on TP levels).
- Perhaps you think your 10-year secret would be a support circle so you KNOW you’re being held through every uplevel and pivot in the process. What you’d really like to do is hire a mindset coach, have a standing appointment with a therapist once a month, and pay for the upgraded access to your favorite breathwork app (so you’re not cobbling together visualizations on the fly and wishing you could just get the whole thing).
“Only” actually gets to be a whole new level for you as an entrepreneur – IF you give yourself the permission to invest in it.
‘Cause whether it’s contractors, housekeepers, or energy healers, giving yourself that access to support requires money.
(But that’s a fair trade, isn’t it, compared to adrenal fatigue, a growing distance in your marriage, or having to shut down your LLC?)
So yeah, you need to update your Google calendar to NOT say “Selfcare Block” right in the middle of project mode.
But you ALSO need to make space in your schedule (and budget!) for the OBM, coach, and grocery delivery that are really what will take the overwhelm out of your day-to-day life as the mom.
That’s what selfcare TRULY is – taking care of your SELF, not buying the bath bombs.
And I’m not here for “oh, it’ll just take me another 4 minutes to fold this laundry” when your stomach is screaming “feed me,” you’ve got 2 other high-priority tasks you haven’t crossed off yet (don’t you DARE start them before you get that food!), and your kids are flopped in various places around the house relaxing.
Go get THEM to do some of the work – like laundry and warming up your pre-made cup of coffee and setting out a plate and fork for you – and then YOU go sit down and enjoy yourself with a solo meal.
Let someone ELSE take care of you, for once – it won’t hurt them to do a little serving.
They’re your kids; they love you.
They WANT to help and get you brightened up.
But YOU need to start building in those recharge blocks to your real-world daily calendar, so you quit running on fumes Monday through Thursday.
(Actually, just outsource that to me – when I’m getting you those 20 hours a week back, I’m ALSO pulling in all that selfcare time and kid snuggling and husband catch-up hours for you.
Because I know that what you build into your daily routine is what you actually prioritize in your life.)
Since for the love of everything, you DON’T need another “manage your time better” scolding.
You just need to break the cultural motherhood programming that’s keeping you stuck in your business.
DM me when you’re ready for a spacious schedule NOW (not 5 years down the road).
