How to set the boundaries you need as an introverted mom with a business

So, how are you at setting boundaries?

No, don’t run away on me. Boundaries don’t have to be this big, complicated, angst-y thing.

They’re just lines in the sand.

Lines to remind yourself, “This isn’t going. I’m not going to go there.” Or, “I need that, and here’s how I’ll get it.”

Courtney Carver (the Project 333 woman) has a great question for us around boundaries. She asks, “Why do I feel guilty for taking care of myself?”

Really – why do we?

‘Cause I struggle with this, a lot. I feel horribly selfish when I realize what my boundary should be, then think about implementing it.

Telling other people (aka family members) about it. (Especially when it comes to Christmas hosting and planning!)

But why?

• We’re allowed to take time for ourselves.
• We’re allowed to say, “That’s not okay.”
• We’re allowed to protect our well-being.

So where do we start?

First off, find the resentment.

Where are you feeling that burn of “I’m such a martyr (but I have to keep doing this)” in your day, week, or month?

That’s a boundary waiting to happen, right there.

For example, how many times you serve at church or volunteer outside the home.

I loved helping once a month in my son’s class – but when I changed that to twice a month, I felt burnt out and wished I could cancel every time.

You know what that told me? That I was doing too much for my personal energy levels. So I called the coordinators, told them I needed to bump it back to once a month, and felt an immediate sense of relief.

Helping out was fun again – and all it took was one boundary.

Second, be sure to follow through.

All the good intentions to SET a boundary in the world won’t make a difference to you if you don’t actually set it.

Make that change.

So what needs to happen? An email, a phone call, or a short in-person meeting to lay out your new personal fence?

(That’s what boundaries are – fences. Think of them as your personal hedge to keep those energy drains out of your life.)

Set that calendar reminder, write down the phone number, or ask what time that person can meet.

Because you’re worth that closure.

And remember – if you need help determining what boundaries you need in your life, that’s what I’m here for.

I’d love to talk you through where you’ve noticed resentment in your life, what we could do about it, and some boundary ideas to choose from in our coaching calls.

Because you getting to live a life you actually love, that doesn’t drain your introverted self?

Sometimes that takes a little outside help. Some brainstorming.

And that’s perfectly okay. (Normal, even!)

So here’s your challenge for the week:

Write down every time you felt resentment over an activity, obligation, or outing in your life.

Just notice where and when that happened for you.

Later on, brainstorm a boundary you could set in place to protect yourself from feeling that again.

It’s time to put your thinking cap on: What do you need to protect, today?