How many times have you noticed this? It’s the gap between what you say you want (in your life, your calendar, or your habits) vs. what you actually do with that life (or calendar or habit).
Hint hint: navigating this difference – coming to terms with it, reconciling it, changing it – is one of the biggest things we’ll do when you’re coaching with me.
Because you’re going to come up against it time and time again, just like my client. Here’s what I told her – feel free to steal it for yourself.
- Why aren’t I taking the time I laid out for my husband or kids? (What you want and what you say you want are two different things.)
- Why aren’t I mowing through my to-do list each morning? (What I want for that portion of my day and what I think I want are two different things.)
- Why can’t I seem to make progress with my people-pleasing tendencies at work or with clients? (What I’m willing to live with from others and what I’m willing to speak up for about myself are two different things.)
You can see how this has a lot of power in your day-to-day life.
What do you really, truly want to see in yourself as a person? What’s the ideal best-life version of you? (Of your day? Of your kid time?)
(Are you checking in with your clients on Voxer on lunch break and while you’re cooking supper – but no other parts of your day? Are you snuggling all the kids as they wake up, rather than rushing them out the door? Are you finding one new thing to hand off to your OBM every month? Are you taking yourself off for “launch date breaks” with your husband every time you open cart?)
*That’s* what you have to head towards. Just like my client, you have to get comfortable with the gap between the “want” and the “do,” and start exploring it.
- Okay, I gave myself room in my schedule for a walk to the park. But I didn’t do it. How come?
- Okay, I cut my work hours so I could spend time in the evening with my husband. I’ve been working two out of four evenings this week. What went on?
- Okay, I meant to get that house project done this Saturday, but when Saturday showed up I decided that cleaning was really my top priority. Why?
Like I told this client, take yourself back to the memory of that time and tell me what was going on in your head. You knew exactly what you’d planned for this time slot, right? What your ideal self was going to do? Right.
So take me inside your brain, and show me what made you switch. Why you decided doing something else would be easier.
I’m not judging you; I’m *understanding* you.
Because that’s the only way you’ll ever change.
Either you’ll decide that you can ditch those ideal-self habits you thought you were required to do, or you’ll pinpoint the *real* reason you’ve been avoiding them and be able to change *that*.
Either way, you win.
We’re going to get you a BUNCH more selfcare time than you’ve currently been getting – to fill up that cup till you’re not teetering dangerously close to burnout mode anymore – AND we’re going to make SURE you’ve taken care of everything on your business to-do list. (No, it doesn’t all have to be done by you. There’s team and outsourcing and starter VAs to take care of that.)
So ask yourself this today: What do I keep saying I really want, that never gets done? And could that be because I don’t truly want to do that thing or be that person?
Sit with that, and explore. Because your road to change is right in those two questions.
You’re almost to the answers.
