We’re talking habits today!
Which camp are you in when it comes to habits? “Habits are a pain in the neck,” or self-improvement nerd?
If you’re in camp one, you’ll learn why habits aren’t something to be feared, avoided, or put off at all costs.
(Hint: If those are your automatic responses, they’re someone else’s habits.)
And if you’re in camp two, today is a refresher for you. Gut check that you still want to do your habits, and you’re set!
So. Here we go.
What habits really are
First thing you need to know: Habits are just the steel girders of who you want to be. Not should’s, to-do’s, or trendy hop-on-the-bandwagon must-do’s.
They’re want-to-do’s. I want to do this. I want to be this.
And so you need a reminder (at least until that action is part of the fabric of your everyday life).
Now, wrecking ball time: look at all the habits on your list (or taking up space in your head as “should do someday” items).
Which ones are you actually excited about doing? Being?
(If you don’t want to be the organic smoothie mom, it’s okay – you know that, right?)
Prune that habits list – your “I want to be someday” list – till it resembles a person you could see yourself being, just with a few nudges.
(You know, to take a walk every day, read a book to yourself – not the kids – once a week, that sort of thing.)
And as the habit experts say, try to focus on one thing at a time. (I’ll let you go to three, if you’ve got three priorities – but no more.)
Have you cut down your list to 1-3 action items?
What your true self wants
Now that we’ve shortened your want-to-be list, let’s take a second look.
What does your inner, most-real self want to do? Be? How does she spend her time?
Go in depth here.
- What hobby did she start, or take up again?
- What job is she working at (if any)?
- Has she started a side hustle or business?
- What makes her smile, take a deep breath, and think, “I love my life right now!”
Habits are just helpful reminders of who you want to be.
You need to admit these things about yourself first.
(Or else you’ll structure your day with meditation at 5am sharp, a lunchbreak 2-miler, and an organic-in-season-slow-eating-real-food family meal on the table every night by 5:30pm. And then wonder why you hate your “new” life!)
You see, your future self is you – just more experienced, more in tune with herself. So dig deep and get real. No “everyone says I should” hobbies allowed.
Only add what your inner self lights up about – whether that’s Amish romance novels or cross-stitch, weeding in the garden or practicing with a new lens!
Construct your new (aka, in tune with your real desires) life. Have fun with it.
Build in that handful of life-giving hobbies, the workout type you prefer above all others, and tiny reminders during the day that just make you smile.
- Seeing your kid’s artwork?
- Fresh-cut flowers?
- A particular scented body lotion?
Some of these practices may not be habits, per se – but if you’re not in the habit of doing or enjoying them, a reminder is in order.
What reminders do for you
Which brings me to my next point: Treat your habits not as unattainable goals, but as helpful reminders of who you want to be.
- That alarm going off on your phone? It’s because you knew you’d forget to roll out the yoga mat for your favorite workout. It’s not a guilt trip; it’s helping you add movement you love into your day.
- The kitchen timer beeping at 5pm? It’s your “get dinner in the Instapot” reminder so you can sit down for a no-fuss (hot!) meal with your family later on.
- A recurring Google Calendar notification every Tuesday? That’s telling you to text your friend how her weekend was (so you’re never too busy to touch base).
You get the point.
Habits can be much broader than “brush your teeth before bed” and “work out every day.”
Think of them as reminders of the mindsets, actions, and practices you want to take up. The ones that connect you with your better self and leave you smiling when you’re finished.
So what reminders do you need to add to your phone, Google calendar, or daily planner sheet to get the life you want?
- A text-a-friend note so you’re always in touch with someone?
- A yoga mat reminder for your favorite workout?
- Maybe a hobby reminder at 2pm every afternoon (so you don’t get caught up in chores and forget to take some time for yourself)?
- Perhaps a “cut-or-buy flowers today” note-to-self every Saturday, so you get the pleasure of looking at (and smelling!) them all week?
That life you’ve always wanted? It’s right there.
It’s the sculpture in the marble. You just need to set a few reminders – practice a few habits – and you’ll see the sculpture start to emerge.
You’ll start living that awesome, just-right-for-you life.
Where do you need a few “want-to-be” reminders today?
